The famous scientist, Marie Curie once said that nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. It is also a common quip that the best form of defense is attack.
In order to realize your potential you must be willing to confront your fears – to do those things you are afraid to do. The more you run the more you lose ground and sight of your goals and aspirations. A lot of folk turn their backs and run when they are faced with difficult or frightening situations. I don’t blame them a lot because it is the easiest thing to do – turn around and run!
Am not referring to those dangerous life and death situations where you have to physically run for your dear life. Am talking about the race that happens in your mind, where you turn away from difficulties and responsibilities in life just because you are afraid.
In life there must be obstacles and challenges that stand in the way of your personal and professional growth and you must not only face them, but also overcome them, if you must succeed.
It is different for different people; what scares you may not be what scares me. Also, people have different thresholds for fear. For example, some people are just too afraid to start a new business, while some others can easily start one and only get scared when problems arise in the business.
What makes you afraid?
The answer is simple. You do not want to leave your comfort zone. Whenever I challenged an acquaintance of mine with this fact the answer he always gave me was that “a bird at hand is more than a million in the bush.” Thing is that he used that expression to mask his fear – he was afraid of trying; he loved his comfort zone!
A good reason why people are afraid of leaving their comfort zone is because they fear the unknown. They are afraid of treading new grounds. They are afraid of failing. People generally feel comfortable and safe when they are in familiar environments, when familiar events are happening around them, and when their predictions about things come out right. Your comfort zone affords you all this luxury.
Look at this set of fears:
- Fear of responsibility
- Fear of learning new skills
- Fear of changing jobs
- Fear of public speaking
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- Fear of trying new things
- Fear of rejection
- Fear of losing your friends
- Fear of commitment
- Fear of xyz
You might be afraid of one or more of the above. Don’t feel bad about it, there are many other people who are afraid of the same thing(s) you are afraid of. All these fears are all tied to not wanting to leave your comfort zone.
Pros and Cons of Your Comfort Zone
Your comfort zone can afford you familiarity and hence that feeling of safety, but it ensures that you remain static. Your comfort zone does not move; it remains in one place and keeps you there.
It is comfortable to talk with friends and family, speak the same languages all your life, cook familiar dishes, go to familiar places, do your regular job, etc. Notice that you are doing the same things over and over again. And I bet you love it because you don’t have to break a sweat.
What about meeting new people, traveling to new places, going for a better job, starting a new business, and just learning new things? How about an eventful life, a life full of experiences, and a life of diversity? These all require that you step out of your comfort zone, but they will surely enhance your personality and productivity.
It is then pretty obvious that your comfort zone keeps you stagnant and will not allow you to reach out for new things. Comfort zones fight change. They prevent you from reaching out for your goals and aspirations in life.
The Cost of Running
You lose a lot by running from your fears. The only thing you actually gain by turning your back at your fears is momentary and intermittent relief.
As a prefect in high school many years ago, it was suddenly my turn to lead the morning assembly. I was this shy, quiet, on-my-own kind of person. Many days before that day my heart beat fast and my hands sweated whenever I remembered that it was my turn. A day to that “dreaded” day I pleaded with a friend of mine, also a prefect, to stand in for me. She agreed and all the tension disappeared and I felt peace, at least that night.
But here is what it cost me:
- I lost an opportunity to learn how to address a large audience
- My self-esteem took a nose dive because a girl stood in for me – and did it well
- I was scolded when the teachers found out
I was lucky because that duty was forced on me on a later date and I had to do it. But I learned a lot by standing on that high podium and looking at those many eyes peeking at me. Yes, I was scared to my teeth, but I did it.
Running from your fears may get worse and here are further downsides:
- You prevent yourself from achieving success
- You live a routine and boring life
- You don’t improve as a person
- You are frustrated and disappointed
Many people decide not to try at all because it saves them all the stress. Hear this: only people who try fail; also only people who try succeed!
I bet after reading this you wish you can confront your fears. I know you can!
Confronting Your Fears and Winning
To confront your fears you must first develop a positive attitude. You must change attitude and then decide to take action in the direction of your fears.
To start with, you have to decide to get out of your comfort zone and explore your potential. Yes, you’ll be scared, but decide to take control of your life and you’ll see the endless possibilities before you.
One very important ingredient you need to be able to confront your fear is courage. Courage is what gives you the inner strength to go ahead even though you are afraid.
Believe that you can and move forward one step at a time in boldness and courage. Do not allow doubt or worries to set in, because all they do is to discourage you from trying.
Remember that story about Peter the Apostle walking on water? As long as he had faith and believed he kept walking without sinking. But immediately he let fear and doubt set in he started sinking. It is the same thing here. Put away your fear. Put away your doubt. Put away your negativity. Face you fears head-on and you will win. In fact, you may find out that you shouldn’t have been afraid of some of the things that crept you out.
Keep at it even when you are afraid. For example, let’s say you are afraid of accepting responsibility. When new responsibilities come your way, accept them. Yes, you might mess things up the first time, but it does not matter. You are a winner for even trying.
A friend of mine was afraid of playing the keyboard in his local church. I encouraged him all I could, but he was afraid of making mistakes, of people talking about his mistakes…. Not too long ago I saw him and he told me that he later played in church. He said he made some mistakes and that all he planned to play flew off his head, but he was still happy he played. For even trying at all he won. He is eager to keep playing, and I can bet you he’ll improve on how he plays in public rapidly.
Associate with Fearless People
I loved doing back flips and somersaults when I was in grade school. It was a hobby for me. But I had a classmate then who was awesome at it and he did all sorts of somersaults from very high structures as much as 9ft tall. I couldn’t. I became friends with him and he encouraged me to try, even though I knew it was dangerous.
Each day at school he’d somersault from those heights and invite me to try. It continued lie this until one day I climbed up there while my friend and other classmates were on the sandy ground cheering. I had to. I just had to. Up there I was so scared but I told myself I had to do it and boom… I did it! From that day it became a sight to behold as other students would gather after school to watch us do stuff.
What am saying is make friends with fearless people, not those who would pile their own fear on you and discourage you from trying new things. My friend helped me overcome my fear and do something I had been itching to do.
What is that thing that you are afraid of? Face it. Take action. Win!
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